An interesting self-reflective exercise…
Without a moment’s hesitation, I could list off an arm’s length of ish
about myself that I don’t like about being in my 40s so I had to think on this question …
I no longer care about looking foolish.
Somewhere in my forties, I woke up one day and said, “F*ck it
Like every time I used to go left instead of right in dance class (a whole other post) . The younger me would have been embarrassed at messing up the choreography but instead the 40+ year old me will laugh and call it freestyling
whenever the dance teacher looks annoyed. I just laugh and keep moving.
I’m there to have a little fun, learn some new steps and burn extra calories.
And Dude, it’s not that serious so chill…
I’m much better at saying “no”
When I used say “yes” to everything and everyone, I would get annoyed at being taken for granted. But you know what they say – “you teach people how to treat you” so it was all my fault.
Now, I’m quick to think about how saying “yes” will affect my life and how that person would likely survive and thrive if I wasn’t around. “No, that’s not good for me
” or “I wish that I could but I can’t
” rolls off my tongue like a hot knife in butter. I’m still working on mastering the art of never offering the “why”, unless I feel it absolutely necessary.
I’m more vigilant (but still not vigilant enough) about guarding my time
A lot of my 20s and 30s were spent accomplishing things I
didn’t really want, listening to bad advice and being supportive to people who barely reciprocated. Not anymore. Those experiences taught me numerous life lessons and the time I have left on this earth will be more self-full. Even if I die trying.
Eliminating negative narratives towards my “likeness”
I tolerated a lot of stuff because I accepted that was just the way it was. Then, when I started to connected the dots, I went from high tolerance to low tolerance and now to no tolerance in my 40s.
Any kind of media that falsely denigrates women of my likeness or perpetuates that old unworthy, thirsty, ugly, angry woman stereotype gets muted FAST. I grew up allowing that toxicity to unknowingly seep into my soul but not anymore.
I’m quick to question my own narratives and self-talk
When my mind falls back into older self-beliefs as they often do, I am quick to stop and think “Why am I thinking this way and where are these thoughts coming from?” It’s amazing what I have learned about myself by doing this.
I understand that though I am a product of my past and there is much that I can’t get back, I can still change my present narrative to make the most of my future I have left.
If you had the name the top five things you love about being your age, what would they be?